Cut after cancer entry 14 (over half way done)

Hi guys,

Hope you haven’t missed me too much while I’ve been in hospital. I’m back again after 3 days in. The first two days were a breeze, so easy as I knew what to expect. On the third day I lost my apatite a little but nothing major. Still no real sickness just more tiredness, which I can deal with and depression, which I’m struggling with.

Lost a lot of my motivation after this second cycle. Hopefully it will pick up again in a few days. Just less than 4 weeks to go and this hell is over and I can move on with my life. I’ll be moved into my new flat soon, I’ll be back working full time and training double time!!! And I’ll have so many things to book, see and do. This experience (as cheesey as is sounds) will, and already has changed my life. I’m realising that what’s the point in having these huge goals of success and money to make you happy, when you work so much you don’t have time to enjoy the success and life with friends and family. There must be a distinctive balance. I’m lucky, I caught this crap early, some people don’t get a chance to realise this and lose their life way too early Without fulfilling it.

During my last visit to the marsden I met another girl who is having identical treatment to me. She’s Bubbly, fun and full of spirit…but doesn’t shut up!!! (Haha I hope you’re reading this). This is a message to you. I felt just like you did on my first cycle, scared, worried, sad. Now you’re in it and can see it’s not what the movies are like ( well especially our treatment) you know is not all bad. You say I’m so strong but trust me this is hands down the worst time of my life…but we’re smashing the sh.. Out of it together!

You’ll look back in 2 years and laugh how we’re such better people for it. Best of luck. See you Monday x

Lastly I’d like to say a few words about a special little someone, without whom none of this would have been possible. My girlfriend Liz. Since day 1 she’s stayed in hospital with me through the ups and the downs. Even when she’s been going through very difficult times, she’s managed to keep it together for me and I couldn’t ask for anyone more special at this time of my life. I owe you so much as without you I don’t think I could of done this. I’m looking forward to our trips away places and another lovely visit to our favourite place in France 🙂

You really truly mean the world to me. You have a heart of gold!!
All my love, Ben x

Cheers for reading guys. One more session in hospital and I’ll be nearly done!!

Onwards and upwards

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