A week has gone by and I’ve made my decision to go with the 3 weeks of chemo. I’ve finally got my head round it and am mentally prepared. Tomorrow I will tell them my decision but tonight I cannot sleep thinking about those tumor markers. What happens if they haven’t gone down? I’m thinking the worst and even mention it to people that I really feel like its worse than I’ve been told.
I’m tossing and turning and cant for the life of me get to sleep. Stupidly I go on some cancer forums and find out about the exact treatment i’m having from people going through it now. This makes it worse when I read about a guy having a heart attack from the treatment and being put on death watch.
This time the hospital didn’t make me wait too long. They called me in the same room and went next door to discuss. This time spoke loudly to my mum so I didn’t spoil the surprise i was about to receive! They come in with that look on their face as if to say ‘I feel so sorry for you…….because you are f****d!’
They tell me that the makers should of come right down after the operation but haven’t which means they will now need to carry out 9 weeks of chemo (intense). I will be ruined for the best part of 6 months if everything goes somewhat smoothly. I’m clearly Physic!
Didn’t even cry this time, I think partly because I knew it would happen due to me being a negative Nigel!
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